Does he love me or does he think he loves me.

I think he thinks he loves me. I’m just someone that cares for him, gives him attention and affection. He’s mistaken me filling a lonely hole with love. Maybe he’s just with me so he doesn’t feel sad, feels less alone. Maybe that’s what love is.

Do I even love him or am I just with him so I’m less lonely. All I know is that I have so much affection for him. When I see him I want to care for him. Let him know he’s special. But he annoys me sometimes. There are so many thoughts in my mind. So many possibilities. It makes me sad. I will never know what’s actually going on. Mainly because no one actually know what’s going on.

Maybe that’s why I’m studying psychology.

I hope it’s more than just filling in for loneliness but who knows. He won’t even know what it is. He thinks he loves me but he probably doesn’t. I’m pretty sure it takes more than a couple of months to fall in love.

I’m tired and I think too much. I feel sick.

(I hope he doesn’t see this. If you do, hi. Hope you’re okay.)

-J

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